“It” Happens

What is it?  Shit.  And, it does happen.  A story:

A few nights ago my husband was working an evening shift and so I was home to feed the kids, bathe them and put them to bed.  Dinner was a success- homemade Sesame Chicken, broccoli (only son ate it) and yogurt (only my daughter ate it), but overall, I was a happy mama.  After some playing, we trooped off to the bath.  I got them undressed and in the tub.  As I was turned around to get towels, my daughter screams, “Mama!!!  What IS that???”  Oh man.  It’s poop. photo 1 It looks like a medium-sized tootsie roll and I was relieved.  For anyone who has never had a kid poop DURING bath, let me tell you that this is the best possible of all scenarios.  There was no water, no toys out, kids were still dirty.  Perfect.  I popped them out, spot cleaned the tub and praised my luck.  Stupid move, mama.

So, kids are back in the tub, water’s running and I begin to wash my son.  I soap up and reach down to wash his feet.  Then his legs.  And as I washed his butt, I CAUGHT the second deposit.  Seriously, it dropped right into my hands.  Now listen, I am immune to a lot of mom disgusting-ness, but this is pretty serious.  I’m not in the business of handling my kids’ feces, but I have two small children in the bath, so now is not the time to freak out.  I calmly tell myself I will call my friend later and quietly (because the kids will be asleep) shriek about how gross this was.  But, again, not the end of the world.  I throw the new tootsie roll in the toilet, wash my hands, pop my son out, wash his butt in the sink, and pop him back in with his sister.  Again, very little harm, very little foul….. and then….

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It’s like a really gross “Where’s Waldo.”

I don’t know why I didn’t catch on that this might be a theme.  I don’t know why I dumped out our ENTIRE toy bucket into the tub at that moment.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  But, as I began to lather up my daughter’s hair, I notice my son squatting.  Yup, he’s pooping- rapid fire now.  Little rabbit pellets are all over the tub.  Now things go into serious mode.  I get them both out, sit my son in the sink, wash off his hands and feet quickly to make sure nothing goes into his mouth, wrap him in a towel and put him on the floor, then turn my attention to my daughter who is screaming on the bathmat.  She’s naked, soap-y and her favorite bath toy is now covered in shit.  Great.  Another battle for another day.  I turn on the shower, and, fully clothed, step into the bath tub (avoiding the poop) and hold my daughter under the spray to wash her off.  She screamed the WHOLE time, but now, at least she was clean.  Next up, the offender.  He was also unhappy about the situation, but I got him showered off and both wrapped in towels into the bedroom.  I left all of my wet clothes in a pile on the bathroom floor and, wrapped in my own towel, made sure the kids were distracted.  Phone for my daughter, who subsequently FaceTime’d about 7 people, and a book for my son to chew on.  And then I had to gather the toys, get the poop.

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The morning after “the incident.” He’s fantastic.

Needless to say, after they were both asleep, I drank a big glass of wine.

Pass the non dairy butter?

Do you know what the #1 resolution buttermade on December 31st every year is? I don’t either… But, I’m guessing losing weight is up there on the Top 10 list. I fell victim to this particular resolution this year. Really, I am looking to feel healthy and feel better in my clothes…but that often boils down to dropping a few pounds.

So, with the goal of losing weight in mind and my husband fully on board with this plan (he’s really the best), I began contemplating my diet. Diets are annoying. I get bored and frustrated and want immediate results. No, patience is not one of my virtues. Enter husband, with clever idea- what if every month in 2015 we did some sort of diet modification and a corresponding physical activity? Might not be sustainable or we might do something for 2 months, etc, but it seemed like a good jumping point.

January was no carbs, no booze (yes, I know…no fun.) We also did the 7-minute NYTimes workout every day from December 28th until January 31st. Two hundred and forty-five minutes of cardio, core, and strength and a fridge eerily empty for a month, I feel stronger. I feel like maybe some of my clothes fit better. But what for February?

Vegan. We’re cutting out meat, dairy and eggs. For 28 days, I will live my life without delicious delicious cheese and devoid of a juicy burger. Off I went to the grocery store and returned with nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit, grains, coconut milk and non dairy butter. I’m weirdly excited.

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It’s not you, it’s us.

We are breaking up with our daughter’s preschool. And the thing is, it’s not anything they did. In fact, they are amazing. They love and respect children. They have intentional activities supported by theory and experience. They communicate often with the children and talk to them like humans. They believe that children can do for themselves.

But we have to break up with them because we’re moving. We will be too far away to keep driving to this school. My husband and I found a wonderful school for our daughter to move to. During the tour of the new school, she jumped right in and started participating. She looked like she belonged. She told us she liked it. It is, by every metric, a wonderful school and we are excited for the next steps. And still, I feel sad. I’m sad to leave this place that has cared for and taught my daughter during her first year of school.

A friend suggested that I write a thank you note to the school and her teachers- she suggested it might help assuage my sadness….

Dear Ms. Debbie, Ms. Sarah, Ms. Kelly, Ms. Rachel, Ms. Jen, Ms. Ellen, and the countless student teachers:

Thank you for holding my daughter’s hand after I left on her first day.

Thank you for holding my hand after the door closed and she happily started to play.

Thank you for encouraging our whole family to get involved with the school community.

Thank you for paying attention and having opportunities that appeal to my daughters’ interests.

Thank you for not yelling, not getting mad, but encouraging my daughter and her friends to resolve their problems.

Thank you for letting sheep come to school and keeping him safe.

Thank you for encouraging my daughter to get messy and then clean up.

Thank you for singing funny songs and dancing even if you look silly.

Thank you for writing me updates every day to keep me in the loop.

Thank you for asking me to volunteer in the classroom.

Thank you for the parties, parades, and events.

Thank you for exposing my daughter to people, traditions, and ideas different from her family.

Thank you for helping my daughter start to learn empathy.

Thank you for caring about intentional teaching and letting kids be kids in equal measure.

Thank you for reading book after book after book without tiring.

Thank you for getting down on the floor and playing with the kids.

Thank you for all the care, support, and interest you have given to our family. We will miss you, but we take with us the lessons you taught our daughter and our family. We are so grateful. It means the world.

love, Sarah